So tonight, i am baking.. filling up the sour things in my life with the sweetness and richness of sugar in the air.
Maybe it's only skin deep but if you close your eyes and breathe deeply, you can taste the happiness it brings.
Smelling it and feeling it are obviously different things, but self worth is never something i've been able to find without the help of other people, and even then i've struggled to achieve it.
Crumbles and pastries, muffins and sweet breads. Douting on someone has always been the way i have survived, without someone else to focus my attention on i am left with space and time to really see myself.
That is an image i have always tried to cloud. dusting with icing sugar to disguse the image into something sweeter, something that is not a failure because i am loved by somebody.
I have to give i have to brighten someone elses day, if i don't i fail to serve purpose and that is the woman i have always known. I do not know life any other way.
People always say, you must learn to love yourself before you can love somebody else... But, if that were true and i took that passage into my life then i would be lonely for a very long time.
Maybe, if i give them everything they desire in life, then maybe i am not worthless afterall.
so the serving will continue until i serve a purpose.
